happy valentine's day? buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i admit it. i receive emails from an online adult store. there, i said it. sometimes the stuff in the emails is just too unbelieveably weird. i received an email today from them and at the top of the message it said:

last chance - 25% off all vibrators for valentine's day!

and i'm thinking, who in the HELL would give a vibrator as a valentine's day present? i realize that many try to give something different than the more common candy or flowers. but, really? a vibrator? i guess nothing says true love more than a junk buzzer. well, some might actually agree with that.

maybe hallmark should get in the adult product biz. their new slogan could be "when you care enough to send the very best .......... orgasm".

finding my rat park.....

i read an article escape your rat race in a recent o magazine that talks about how most people will tend to stay in their familiar "cage" rather than face the unknown even when the cage is the worst place for them to be. they keep themselves from finding their "rat park".

when i thought about many of the decisions i have made in my life, i saw that i have been keeping myself in familiar situations, rather than allowing myself to find my more ideal life (note how i didn't say perfect life). after reading this article, i feel better knowing that finding that ideal life won't require any major changes. it's just a matter of focusing on what feels psychologically "warmer" to me and making small changes as i go along. i can definitely do that.

so hopefully soon i can honestly say that i'm in rat park. it will be a much better place, i'm sure.

since when is the universe so in tune?

so.....i honestly thought the 1st one was funny as hell. now it's just gettin' freaky. this was my horoscope on friday:

Your recent push toward getting to know someone has created good results, but it's wise to quit while you're ahead. Pull back and let them start pursuing you. Pushing even harder to spend more time with them is not going to create better results -- it's only going to freak them out! Giving them a bit more space will show them that you respect them. Suffocating them and demanding their free time only shows them that you are selfish -- which you are not! Stop chasing and let yourself be chased.

now, i have recently been reconnecting with an old friend. yes, i did go see him last weekend. and yes, it could have the potential of something more in the future. and i know that the best thing for me to do right now is to not push anything to happen (too many complications in both our lives).

so i'm wondering when did the universe get so in line with my thoughts and what is going on in my life? freak!

it is written in the stars.....

here's my horoscope for today:

No matter whether it's in terms of friendship or romance, you deserve a relationship that is based on mutual respect -- is that what you have? Take a long, hard, honest look at your relationships, today. If you don't feel like you are getting what you need, it's okay for you to be more demanding. After all, others are demanding, too, from time to time, and you usually respond very favorably. Doesn't it stand to reason that they will be responsive to your needs as well?

this so fits where i am right now. i will explain soon.....

no one would blame me, right?

if i just smothered my husband with a pillow? i'm not really serious, but this morning, it was dicey there for a bit. i've pretty much been up since @ 3 am this morning. and it's all bcuz of him & his freakin' sleep apnea! crap! he's had it for years, but was diagnosed and started treatment only in the last year or so. now.....let me paint a good & clear pic for you. his snoring is HORRIBLE!!!!! it's progressively gotten worse over the years to the point where it started either keeping me from falling asleep or waking me up in the middle of night. and many times both! i told him to go get it checked out, but did he? OF COURSE NOT!!!!! why should he listen to me? i don't know anything. when he was injured a couple of years ago, the hospital staff told him the exact same thing i had been saying. he still didn't get it checked out. freak! meanwhile, he complained that he wasn't getting decent rest (DUH!!!!!) and that would just set me off. OF COURSE he wasn't getting decent rest, cuz he'd stop breathing a million times during the night. HELLO??????? finally he got into a sleep study and was diagnosed with (.....wait for it.....wait for it.....TA DA!) sleep apnea. HOLY FREAKIN SHIT! what a breakthrough! he was placed on a cpap immediately and the pressure is set very high. the mask he has to wear shifts during the night and makes anywhere from a low whistle to a high howling noise. this is helpful? then of course during the night, he takes it off. what happens then? he snores! can't i get a break here?

so this morning, the mask starts making the howling noise @ 3 am. what does he do? takes it off and immediately starts snoring. i'm awake by now so once the snoring commences, it's nearly impossible for me to go back to sleep. i finally get up & get ready for work @ 6, and i doubt that i will make it through the day today. but, i will try. and, i will try not to smother him with a pillow tonight. however, if i am unable to resist the urge to have a relatively decent night's sleep myself, no one would really blame me, right? LOL

& the career rug is pulled out from under me.....

i get into work this morning and find two emails. one states that our company is being purchased by another larger one. the next is that there are meetings this morning to discuss the first email. while in the process of reading these emails, a group from my department came back from one of the meetings and says that i really need to go to the next meeting. the ceo was running the meeting and said that the merger was a really positive thing. of course it is......for him. i'm sure he stands to get a nice chunk of change from all of this. there's not much that can be said at this point bcuz the deal is not closed yet. what information was available said that they were excited to be able to bring "most" of the existing employees over, but that duplicate positions would be eliminated. i work in payroll - that is definitely a redundant position. any person considering this merger logically would recognize that hr, payroll, and accounting would be at the top of the list of positions to be eliminated. so while it's business as usual until the deal is closed, i may only have a job for the next 6-8 months. ugh!

time to say goodbye.....

my son is leaving today to go back to california. he's been here for just about a week and it's been so great having him here. it only took 11 years for him to be able to come visit me, but that would have to be another post.

i hate saying goodbye. it sucks.

where'd that come from?

i had such a strange dream the other night. really strange for me. as usual, i have forgotten a lot of the details. however, i do remember that obama was in it. wtf????? i am not a politically minded person, so the fact that the president elect was in my dream, and in the part of my dream that i remember, is just too weird for me. WEIRD i tell you!

oh, but it gets so much weirder........ i may not remember many details, but i do know that the dream was sexual in nature. let me say again.....WTF????? am i the new monica lewinsky? the new scandal to take down the first african american president in history? holy crap, i'll be FAMOUS!!!!!

i know that you can't take dreams at face value and that the whole thing is probably representing something else going on in my mind (something going on in my mind? me? nah, not possible. there's nothing up there. i've got blond roots, remember?). when i woke up, though, all i could think about is how out of left field that was. note to self: no more of those, please. i'm begging you. LOL