Wordless Wednesday - the best picture EVAH!

What can I say? I makez pretty peoplez!

I don't understand.

He was pissed off. At me. I didn’t understand why. So I asked.

Instead of getting an answer, I was insulted. I was called a whore.

I didn’t understand why.

The insults continued.

I explained that I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. I didn’t do anything wrong.

I was told that I was not trusted. That I was in danger of crossing a line.

I wasn’t. I was falsely accused.

I never did anything remotely close to what I was being accused of. I know I didn’t. I explained that and the insults stopped. I thought things would calm down.

I was wrong.

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, I was the bad person again. The insults resumed.

And then it was quiet. He left.

Hours later, I received an apology, but I was still upset. I wasn’t being unreasonable. An apology just didn’t sweep it all away and make it not have happened. And when I explained that?

I was told to bury it.

Not asked.

Told.

Demanded actually.

I was supposed to bury the fact that I had been treated badly. I was supposed to act as if nothing ever happened.

How could I do that? WHY would I do that?

And because I wouldn’t ‘bury it’, I was the bad person all over again. The cycle repeated. The insults resumed.

Except that I still had not done anything wrong.

And I still didn’t understand why.

The next morning, I received another apology. I was told he was wrong. I was told he overreacted. I was told he acted immaturely. But he still didn't acknowledge that I didn't do anything wrong.

I explained that I can't let this keep happening. I can't continue to be a verbal punching bag. He agreed.

So now I try to get past it. But it's hard. It gets harder each time. And when I think about what happened...

...I still don't understand why.

*sigh*

Wordless Wednesday

Now if only I could remember what I did with the disk.....

Hell really has frozen over and I can prove it.

Theorem - Hell has frozen over.

Proof - According to Miriam-Webster’s Dictionary, one of the definitions of hell is:

2 a : a place or state of misery, torment, or wickedness.

Misery.

Torment.

Wouldn’t living in a state I loathe for the past 7 years (7 YEARS? WTF?), dealing with the end of my marriage, and getting laid off from my job in two months qualify for being in a state of misery and/or torment? Yeah, I think so too. *snort* (I promise you there’s more to that list, but then we totally go off-topic and skirt the realm of TMI, so it’s best for me to just keep those to myself.)

Therefore, I am in hell.

And since this is what it looks like today:

We can conclude that hell has truly frozen over.

On My Mind

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone. Whew!

This year was a simple one for us, and I for one (maybe the ONLY one) was glad for it. We ended up getting a Honeybaked Ham (instead of being covered in turkey guts) and just had a few sides with it. Trust me that was more than enough. And no tryptophan comas this year. SCORE!

*****

Two weeks left and I will have SURVIVED THE 1ST SEMESTER! Where’s my gold statue? (btw, it’s spelled s-t-a-c-E-Y! *sigh*)

The homework for the four PowerPoint chapters in my computer class is crammed into the next two weeks. I KNOW! Plus the final PowerPoint project is due next week too. I’m actually thinking of doing very little for the final project, or not even doing it at all. I have such a high grade in that class, it wouldn’t hurt.

And then there’s the math final, which shouldn’t be too bad. I hope.

I got an email from the college saying that course evals are now available online and they’re due by Dec. 13th. That gives me plenty of time to figure out what I’m going to say about the psycho professor from hell. It totally goes without saying that I will NOT miss her. At. All.

This Friday I will finally be allowed to register for the spring semester (cuz I’m still low on the credits totem pole). I’ve decided on 2 programming classes, but I still haven’t quite figured out if I will take 2 or 3 more classes and what they will be yet. Good thing work is slow DEAD. It might actually give me a chance to figure that all out by Friday. Or not. I’m still behind on blog reading you know.

*****

November 19th was my one year blogiversary. And my blog stayed silent.

I could blame the silence on work. I could blame it on school. I could blame it on the fact that I killed like a million brain cells when I got totally shitfaced that week. But the truth is…..

I don’t know WHAT the truth is.

I don’t know why I write less and less lately. I don’t know why I remind myself that I need to write, and then find anything else I can think of to do instead (and my office is looking better than ever these days!). I don’t know why I write blog posts in my head when I lay down each night (but not write them down) only to completely forget what the hell I was thinking about when I wake the next morning.

I’m hoping it’s just a phase and that it passes quickly.

*****

I had the strangest dream last week. I was at my high school reunion and NO ONE TALKED TO ME. NO ONE. It was absolutely awful. And then I was asked to be a server of some sort. And I was all WTF? I'm being ignored and now I'm asked to wait on the people who are ignoring me? I so don't think so. So I left the reunion bawling.

It was SO WEIRD. I already went to my reunion last year. And even though I wasn't the most popular kid in school (in fact far from it...I was a total band geek), I wasn't ignored. I did, however, manage to make an ass out of myself a couple of times cuz I totally remembered someone's face, but completely forgot their name and even called them by a different one. Brilliant Stacey, just plain brilliant.

I'm so sorry Juan! I really do remember you! You can totally accept my Facebook friend request now!

Yeah, like he reads my blog.