I just couldn't help it. Not one bit. While taking my daughter to return her library books (b cuz she told me *tonight* that the books were due back *today* - of course they were), I heard a voice quietly calling my name "staaaaacey". Then I heard it again a little louder "Staaaaaaaaaaacey". Well, I guess the voice wanted to make sure it wasn't ignored, cuz the next thing I heard was "STACEY GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND BUY ME ALREADY, OK?????" What could I do? Sure, I could have resisted temptation, but who needs a waistline anyway? I hear they're overrated.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I had to do it to make the voices go away.
I just couldn't help it. Not one bit. While taking my daughter to return her library books (b cuz she told me *tonight* that the books were due back *today* - of course they were), I heard a voice quietly calling my name "staaaaacey". Then I heard it again a little louder "Staaaaaaaaaaacey". Well, I guess the voice wanted to make sure it wasn't ignored, cuz the next thing I heard was "STACEY GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND BUY ME ALREADY, OK?????" What could I do? Sure, I could have resisted temptation, but who needs a waistline anyway? I hear they're overrated.
Posted by uthostage at 9:32 PM 0 comments
Labels: food - the root of all evil, misc rantings, the method to my madness, weight should be a 4-letter word
Friday, July 24, 2009
I think I had my 1st drunk blogging experience last nite. How did I do?
I'm honored to have the http://www.blogherathome.com/ crew visit my site, still being a somewhat new blogger. I (soberly) thank you for a laugh-out-loud funny nite and I really look forward to tonite & tomorrow nite.
I do have to say that I totally meant it when I wrote that you bitches are amazing. And I promise that I can be funny even when I'm sober.
Posted by uthostage at 7:35 AM 1 comments
Labels: alcohol is good, misc rantings, the internet has brainwashed me, the method to my madness
Thursday, July 23, 2009
BlogHer@Home is the bomb, and that's not just the booze talking.
I'm more than lightly toasted, bordering on half-baked. The husband keeps trying to talk to me, but all I hear is, "Wah Wah...Wah...Wah Wah Wah...Wah Wah" (& if you have never watched a Charlie Brown cartoon don't EVEN ask, you baby!).
Ok, so I just put on my Beatles CD. WTF? Is this what I listen to when I'm drinkin? Hmmm....not that I can recall, but then again I don't really remember much right now. It's probably the booze talking. Or not. I just might be *that* weird. My friends can attest to that.
Anywhoo, you should totally check out http://blogherathome.com/, cuz these bitches are AMAZING! Hope to see you ladies again tomorrow. Thx so much for the hangover that I can complain about tomorrow. You'll never know how much it means to me. ROFL I should totally go to sleep now. Emphasis on *should*.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
*Updated* Blog Hop '09 from the perspective of a (not so) noob blogger.
Posted by uthostage at 10:35 PM 20 comments
Labels: entertainment, friends can save you...or commit you, the internet has brainwashed me, the method to my madness
Thursday, July 16, 2009
They hire geniuses at Burger King, but only the lower level geniuses.
Posted by uthostage at 7:50 AM 0 comments
Labels: am i the only one who thinks this is funny?, food - the root of all evil, life in the fast lane
Monday, July 13, 2009
D-Day approaches & I will storm the beaches of Normandy SLCC campus with guns blazing pencils ready.
Wait a minute.....what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah...college checklist. (Sigh) There are days I still can't believe I am actually attempting this torture yet AGAIN. But things seem to be falling into place pretty well & quickly, so that must mean that this is the right time in my life to get this done. 3rd time's a charm, right? Below is my initial checklist that just covers the basics at a high-level. I didn't think it was necessary to get really detailed by adding things like: (Under Apply for financial aid) Pull at least 1/2 your hair out trying to find all the required financial documentation that you thought you were through with once you finally got off your ass & filed your god damned taxes. That just goes without saying, right?
Posted by uthostage at 8:07 AM 0 comments
Labels: higher learning? sucker, i wouldn't do this if i didn't need the $$$, life in the fast lane, metriculation diaries, the method to my madness
Saturday, July 11, 2009
*updated* You shouldn't piss me off in a room full of knives.
Posted by uthostage at 9:36 PM 0 comments
Labels: life's injustices, misc rantings, relationships, the method to my madness
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I should be banned from all staff meetings.
Co-worker: I wonder what kind of morale booster they will have.
Me: cattle prod.
Co-worker: I'm sure they could come up with a really nice morale booster.
Me: oh...scented cattle prod.
It's totally OK if it itches in public.
The sperm donor's sister had a wonderful son John James. One day many many many MANY years ago, she caught him scratching his boy parts. Really diggin in there, apparently. The following conversation is just too GAWD DAMN FUNNY to be made up:
Susie: John, don't scratch yourself there!
John James: But it itches mommy!
Susie: Well.........just don't scratch it in public.
John James: But what if it ITCHES IN PUBLIC?????
Obviously this happened before puberty set in and his brain migrated to his boy parts & lost the ability to think of these things, ask them, or even give a rats ass about them (and any men reading this,you know you were snickering before you decided to be all offended).
Posted by uthostage at 9:43 AM 0 comments
Labels: am i the only one who thinks this is funny?, family, kids are the best comic relief
I never thought I'd see the day when a layoff meeting would be a good thing.
Posted by uthostage at 8:45 AM 0 comments
Labels: i wouldn't do this if i didn't need the $$$, life's injustices, misc rantings, the silver lining
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
What am I avoiding?
Posted by uthostage at 9:41 AM 0 comments
Labels: misc rantings, plinky prompts, procrastinator thy name is stacey
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Farkle is the fucking Devil.
I'm recruiting members for a new firing squad which will have a single purpose: to destroy the creator(s) of Farkle. This won't really be surprising to them. They started this game for their own enjoyment and only turned it on the
They'll thank us, trust me.
Posted by uthostage at 9:55 PM 0 comments
Labels: am i the only one who thinks this is funny?, entertainment, misc rantings, the internet has brainwashed me, the method to my madness
Friday, July 3, 2009
Not all flashbacks are good.
Where was I? Oh yeah. These flashbacks are not pleasant for me. I mean, can I help it if I have a very good sense of smell? I realize that he would rather not be told that he fucking smells like shit (literally). I get that. I actually agree with him; I don't want to have to tell him that either. However, I would rather not be subjected to the reminders of the days when he wore his underwear for 5 days straight. In my mind, not too much to ask for.
Posted by uthostage at 10:39 AM 0 comments
Labels: am i the only one who thinks this is funny?, freakin weird shit, life's injustices, misc rantings